Building in Chaos

On 1st May 2023, we welcomed our little boy Dexter into the world. His big brother Parker was just two at the time. From no kids to two, under two and a half - and life changed forever.

Responsibilities shot through the roof. Money got tighter. Tiredness became a certainty. And yet, alongside all of that, I decided to build not one but two businesses. On paper, it made no sense. But I did it anyway.

Before kids, I had endless hours where I could have started a million businesses. The irony? I chose the hardest season of my life to finally go all in.

Nights in the Lab

Both SETL and Cobra were built in the only time I had available: late evenings.

Once the kids were in bed, and often once Naomi (my wife) was too. I’d sit down at 9pm and work until 1am. Designing, planning, pulling everything together.

I should add, during this period I was still fully employed. That’s why most of my building happened at 9pm. I didn’t have the luxury of full days to play founder. I had to graft in the margins, because that was the only time I had.

It didn’t feel like work. To me, it was fun. Hours would disappear while I pieced together my vision of freedom. Then I’d finally crash into bed, still imagining what could be.

Of course, sleep never lasted long. Babies and young kids don’t care about your business plans. Dexter would wake in the night and me and Naomi would be up, tag-teaming feeds and cuddles.

By 5am, I’d be awake again. Milk, breakfast, Peppa Pig on the TV, and another stolen hour of work squeezed in before the day began. Then it was get them dressed, off to work for me and repeat.

My fitness collapsed. My diet went out the window. I was permanently exhausted. But I stayed consistent. Because I knew that one day, if I kept going, I’d own something that was mine.

The Cost of Building in Chaos

This has been my life for the last five years. I’ve given up hobbies. Nights out. Even downtime. My energy has been split between two kids under five and two businesses that needed constant feeding.

I won’t lie: I still wrestle with balance. I often crave downtime, but struggle to enjoy it when it comes. My brain has been rewired to link “enjoyment” to building. It’s not healthy, and I’m working on it.

But here’s the truth: building in chaos taught me resilience. It forced me to work in bursts. It showed me that freedom isn’t gifted, it’s earned through consistent effort when nobody’s watching.

And while some would look at that as sacrifice, I see it differently. I see it as a lesson: that you can build even when life is messy.

Not a Hero Story

Let me be clear: I’m not telling this story to be a hero.

Working late into the night isn’t glamorous. Running on fumes isn’t healthy. My story won’t resonate with everyone. And that’s fine.

I also hate the “gurus” who tell you that if you just follow their checklist, you’ll be successful. Life doesn’t work like that. My story isn’t a formula, it’s just my reality. And everybody's is different.

What I am saying is this: even with the chaos around me, I built. Something I couldn’t bring myself to do when I had no responsibilities, which seems crazy.

The graft mattered. The graft built momentum. And for me, that graft was the only way through.

The Playground Ahead

And here’s the thing, I’m only just getting started.

SETL and Cobra were the first two. But there will be more businesses. More adventures. More creations to explore.

I’ve learnt how to build, and once you’ve learnt that skill, the whole working world turns from a slog into a playground. You stop seeing obstacles and start seeing opportunities everywhere.

I don’t have total freedom yet, my life is still consumed by family and work, but I’m committed. And I know the next chapters will be even bigger, because I’ve built the foundation in chaos.

The Lesson

People ask how I did it with two young kids. The answer is simple: I wanted it badly enough.

If you’re in your twenties, no kids, no mortgage, fewer responsibilities, and you still think it’s too hard? Step up. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Nobody is coming to save you.

There will never be a perfect time. There will always be reasons to wait.

But if you want something badly enough, you’ll find a way to build it , even in chaos.